If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i dont even know how to be here
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
