If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
