The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
