ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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