This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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