you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
