I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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