Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
