i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
