The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
