she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
