i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
