it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
