He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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