I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
