In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You're like the curious george of whores
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
