I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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