apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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