Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
