His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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