when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
