I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
