i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
