Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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