The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
