well most of my day revolves around power hour
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
