haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
