I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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