So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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