Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
