Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
