Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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