I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
