he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Randomize
