party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
