Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
