Farmville is her only friend.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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