all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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