bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
