Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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