pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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