if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
