my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
