Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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