I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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