he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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