oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
