he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Terrible idea I love it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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