Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
