Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize