he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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