I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
