Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
