I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
