Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
