what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
