I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
