And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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