Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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