he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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