My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
