its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
