Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
