You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
