you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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