I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
