He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
