i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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