There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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