OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
