...so i touched it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
