mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Houston, we have a blender
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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