I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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