Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Please don't give away my fajitas
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